


Going, going, you killed it

by BlooBlu



Series: Crime doesn't usually mean love [7]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cute Kids, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Meetings, Fluff without Plot, Quiet Contemplation, figuring out your feelings, serious discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22460104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlooBlu/pseuds/BlooBlu
Summary: Logan contemplates his feelings, and figures some stuff out.
Series: Crime doesn't usually mean love [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584493
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	Going, going, you killed it

If Logan was ever asked exactly _when_ he had fallen for Deceit Antonie, he would say likely somewhere between June and July of the year 2020. Of course, because they had met for the first time in late November, had become friends just at the beginning of January the following year, and feelings so strong as 'love' do not happen in just a month or two. He's not so foolish as to "give out his heart" that easily.

But if he were simply asking himself, contemplating and trying to pinpoint the day when he truly began to desire more than friendship with Deceit, he would say without a doubt: March 8th, 2020.

It was the first time he'd ever seen Deceit so… so _gentle_ , he supposed was the only way to describe it. The way that he spoke softly under his breath to the small boy in his arms, and carefully lead the other up the driveway - like this was their first day of kindergarten, rather than meeting a friend of their dad.

They were rather cute kids, Logan could admit that. Objectively, of course. Once inside, Virgil seemed to be content to stay in his father's arms for as long as he was aloud, whereas Remus was almost immediately roaming the entire first floor of the building. It looked like he was searching for something, but didn't quite know what. Exploring.

He wants to say something, other than the brief hello upon opening the door for his guests. But… what would he say? This is an unbelievable show of trust on Deceit's part - bringing what is obviously the most valued parts of his life into a new environment. Well, new for the children at least. And it's only now that Logan is realizing his home isn't exactly child friendly - there are fragile items on shelves, low tables with lamps on them, no toys or books that aren't fewer than 700 pages; the drawers can't be locked, he probably has lighters and his tobacco pipe on the back porch- how unprepared… 

Though it doesn't look like he really needs to be worried, after a minute. Deceit moved into the livingroom, situating himself and the (definitely too small to be eight) eight year old on Logan's couch. Logan followed suit, choosing to sit in his recliner facing them, and Remus was… not touching anything, at least. 

"...So you aren't going to ask?"

"Ask what, Deceit?"

"I mean… about them. Where they came from, or-"

"I understand the birthing process just fine, but if you mean am I curious who their mother is? Not at all. Unless you deem it to be important information, and me worthy to know, I don't mind not knowing."

This answer seemed to satisfy him for now. Which was good, because Logan had nothing else to say on the matter. He truly doesn't need to know their past to get to know them now or ever.

"...they're good kids, Logan. I just… I want them to be happier than I was at their age. I think I'm doing an okay job of that, but if I ever have to fight for them, I will. At this point I need them just as much as they need me."

"Of course. I can't say I completely understand, as I've never had something so precious to protect. But I can sympathize, at least."

He should say something more, he really should. There's this… feeling, in his chest now. Like he wants to move closer, but is at the same time terribly afraid to do so. There's an urge to reach out, to grab Deceit's hand, or out an arm around him, but also a fear of rejection..

…rejection? Be rejected for what? They're good friends, small moments of physical closeness have never been an issue before now. He's never been turned down for a quick hug or sharing a blanket on movie nights.

Perhaps, it is because he wants it for different reasons now. Because Logan wants that physical closeness as something other than just "good friends". Something new, and other. He… he wants to run his fingers through the soft brown hair he only sees the very ends of, under hats and hoodies but he somehow knows will soft and curly anyways. He wants to hold that constantly tense and wiry body until it relaxes and returns the embrace. He… Logan just wants _Deceit_.

Logan didn't quite understand love, not in those moments, not at the time that he was first feeling them. But he's talked to friends, family, and even asked perfect strangers online for their insight… and he understands now, months later.

He is in love with Deceit, and has no idea how to tell him.

**Author's Note:**

> (Hey, so I know I'm not establishing a great timeline here, but let me just put a short order that I'll try to stick to from now on:
> 
> December 2014: Deceit adopts the kiddos 
> 
> November 28th 2019: Logan and Deceit meet
> 
> January 10th-17th 2020: the events of My Begonias? Really?
> 
> First week of March 2020: You have kids?
> 
> March 8th: Logan meets Virgil and Remus)


End file.
